How to Carry On

By Catherine D. Kobasiuk

Chapter 1: 2 weeks after the Cell Games

Knock, knock.

Chichi looked up from her cooking. 'Now who could that be? Krillan was here already today and Dad said he wouldn't be by today.' She wondered as she wiped off her hands and went to the door.

Opening the door she found Yamcha standing on the stoop, he was biting his lip and fiddling with his shirt buttons. Chichi was surprised. She had gotten calls from all of Gokus friends in the last 2 weeks since the Cell Games but the only one that had come by to see her and Gohan had been Krillan.

"Hello Chichi." Said Yamcha.

"Why, hello, Yamcha. Won't you come in?" she replied.

"Thanks." He answered stepping into the kitchen. " Um, is Gohan around? Um, if he's studying don't bother him...um...I just came by to see if you guys needed anything."

Chichi watched as Yamcha stammered trying to make him self clear. She watched as his eyes darted around the kitchen and kept looking at the door to the room where she and Yamcha had cared for Goku during his illness before the Cell Games.

'Oh, dear, he hasn't been here since he helped me take care of Goku. The memories must be rushing him right now.' She realized.

"Gohan is studying but I could use a little company Yamcha, why don't you sit down and have a cup of tea with me. When Gohan is ready for a break he'll come looking for some food and you can have lunch with us." Smiled the young widow.

"uh, sure, thanks Chichi." And Yamcha sat down at the kitchen table. Chichi poured some tea and asked him about work. He chatted with her about baseball and the upcoming season for a little while when suddenly, "Yamcha! When did you get here?" Shouted Gohan as he entered the kitchen.

"Gee, Gohan, you must have been really studying hard if you didn't feel my ki when I came around." laughed Yamcha.

"I was doing my calculus, it takes a lot of concentration." Blushed Gohan.

"That's my little scholar." Gushed Chichi as she set the table and laid out a great deal of food for three people. They ate happily together with Gohan grilling Yamcha on his job and asking after Puar. When they were thru Gohan excused himself to go back to his studies.

Yamcha stood up and started helping Chichi with the dishes. " Gee, You and Gohan seem to be doing really well Chichi." Then he bit his lip, as if he wished he hadn't said that.

"We get our moments, I know Gohan keeps it well hidden most of the time, trying to be brave for me, but he misses his father." She said.

"And you?" Asked Yamcha.

"Well, I try to keep my composure during the day, but at night when I'm alone.well, it's not wrong to miss your husband is it?" she ended in whisper.

"No it's not." Agreed Yamcha. " I hope I haven't made things difficult for you two, I really just wanted to stop by and see if there was anything I could do.ya know?"

"Oh Yamcha, actually, Krillan has been a round a bunch in the last 2 weeks but...he's a good friend and all but.." Chichi faded.

"Well, he is Goku's best friend,... was Goku's best friend. Why? What about Krillan?" Yamcha looked confused by Chichi's statement.

"Well every time he comes around he ends up crying, which gets me crying and Gohan too." She admitted." I don't think it helps us too much."

" I can't blame Krillan Chichi, I've been kind of locked in my house the last two weeks, hiding." He said as he handed the clean dishes to Chichi so she could put them in the cabinet.

"Hiding from what?" She said in surprise.

"I wasn't hiding from anything. I was just hiding away while I cried it out too." Yamcha said ever so quietly. "Well, that isn't totally true, I was trying to hide from my guilt, but it didn't work much."

"What do you have to be guilty about Yamcha?"

"Come on Chichi, look at all of this, Goku had a wife, a son, a family and he died. I haven't got squat and I'm still here. Doesn't that seem wrong to you?"

"STOP! Right now. Anyone dying because of Cell was wrong. It wouldn't have been any better if you or someone else had died. We both know that Goku wanted it this way. He was thinking of the future, for all of us. Besides if you had died you wouldn't have the chance to have a wife and a family at all. That would be totally unfair too." Chichi finished her speech with her hands on her hips and an angry look on her face.

Yamcha just stood there with his head hung; she could see his jaw working to swallow back the tears. "I'm sorry." He whispered. " I knew I would do something wrong if I came by."

Chichi sighed. "Nonsense, You came by to see if I or Gohan needed any help right?"

"Right."

"Well, I was going to send Gohan to the market this afternoon, to get him out of the house for a little while. But I can send you instead, if you don't mind." She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder.

Yamcha brightened. "Oh, I don't mind at all Chichi! Just give me a list of what you need."

" I wrote it up already, for Gohan. Then when you get back Gohan will be due for a break and maybe you can work out with him a little. He gets up early to do his chores around the house and then studies most of the day. He hasn't been getting enough exercise the last two weeks though. I think it is affecting his sleep."

"Great! I'd love it." Grinned Yamcha.

TBC