Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I just like to watch it and talk about it.

UNUNUNUN

You’ve got a friend

By Catherine D. Kobasiuk

Mission ranks are a funny thing. Not a “haha” kind of funny either. No matter how much time and energy the mission staff puts into gathering the info pertaining to a mission and assigning a rank, so that the appropriate shinobi can be assigned a mission assuring that the mission can be completed, all sorts of things go wrong. There are only three hard and fast rules when it comes to mission ranks.

1. Ranks never go down. Never, ever. An A ranked mission has never turned into a C or even a B. That would be like having to break into an enemy base camp but when you got there they invited you in for supper and showed you where they had all the scrolls hidden. It just doesn’t happen.

2. When a mission goes south it goes south fastYou don’t get a days notice. Heck, your lucky if you figure it out before you get a kunai in the kidney. One minute your buzzing through the trees with a scroll for the Hokage thinking you’ll get home in time for the weekly poker game , the next you are hip deep in rogue ninja fighting for you life.

3. The only other certainty about mission ranks is that it is going to hurt hard after you sort it all out, hopefully with out having a trip to the hospital as the final wrap up. Blocking punches and kicks hurts. It hurts worse when you fail to block them. And let’s face it, ninjas punch and kick hard.

All ninja know how funny mission ranks are. It doesn’t take genin long to figure it out. Within a year of graduating from the academy they are rolling their eyes at the C rank that went B and shaking their heads at the B rank that went A and hoping they don’t get an S rank trying to pass it self off as a C.

Umino Iruka is a ninja and being a ninja he’s known about the not “ha ha“kind of funniness of mission ranks for quite some time. Iruka also works at the mission desk so he is intimately aware of how often he hands out a low ranked mission and has to collect the corresponding mission report with a rank upgrade. That really isn’t that bad. Iruka figures if the shinobi is able to stand there complaining about how his mission jumped a grade or two while he hands in his mission report then alls well that ends well. What Iruka dislikes is when someone has to be sent to collect a mission report from a ninja that is in the hospital. Having to send someone to pickup a mission report at the hospital means that either a ninja on a solo mission was injured or that a team of ninja were all injured and may have suffered some losses too. Iruka didn’t like to think about that unless he had to.

Today though, things were quite. Not that Iruka Umino, chunnin and sensei, was complaining. After the mad pace and hectic atmosphere of the transitional period between the loss of the Third and the establishment of the Fifth Hokages it was a well needed change. Sure there were still lots of missions to hand out and no one had a lot of free time but in the year since Naruto had gone off with Jiraiya things had settled back into a routine that made it easier for all the shinobi to be able to get enough rest and still keep up with the mission load.

The academy sensei was keeping busy filing old mission reports and humming a catchy tune. Actually the tune had been stuck in his head all day. He had hummed it on the way to the academy in the morning, and then he hummed it while he gave a quiz to his class. He hummed it during lunch and in between bellowed orders while he had his students practice throwing shuriken. By the time he dismissed his class the little mini-nins had heard quite enough of Sensei’s song, thank you very much.

At the moment in the mission room ShiranuiGenma was fast approaching his limit. He had been knocking around the mission room most of the afternoon waiting to see if anything interesting happened. A mission, juicy gossip, a hot date, he wasn’t fussy but if he had to listen to the chunnin hum one more rendition of that tune he was going to loose it right there in the hokage tower. This would have been quite funny to any of the other jounin considering how many high ranked missions Genma had managed to finish without loosing his cool. To then be driven insane by the humming of one sweet chunnin would have been a considered a laugh riot by the less compassionate of the Leaf ninja. Luckily for Genma fate intervened.

Shizune came into the mission room at an energetic trot, arms full of mission scrolls and mission reports. “Iruka–san?” She began as she dumped her load on the main table.

“Hai, Shizune-san?” He replied as he leaned over to open a lower draw.

Shizune caught a scroll before it rolled off the table.” Tsunade-sama needs you to go over to the hospital to collect a mission report, make sure you bring a blank form with you.”

Iruka straightened up sharply and slammed the file draw shut. “Who’s in the hospital? Are they bad?” The chunnin continued on as he dropped the papers he was filing onto the table and dove for a clip board and then snatched up a blank mission report form. “Which department are they in? Is Tsunade-sama there now?” He patted down his vest to make sure his pens were in their pockets.

“It’s Kakashi-san. That’s all I know. Tsunade-sama asked specifically for you to go over though.” Shizune replied as she started organizing the new additions to the mission table.

“Me?! Specifically?! Kami!” Iruka’s eyes went wide just before he dashed out the door.

Genma watched as the academy teacher ran out of the hokage tower and shrugged. ‘Gossip it is then. Though I could have gone for a hot date more.’ He mused to himself.

UNUNUNUN

Umino Iruka, chunnin and sensei burst through the hospital doors and slid to a halt in front of the main desk. With out missing a beat the medic on duty, who had watched him dash in, quickly ascertained why he was there and what he need to know. “You’re here to collect the mission report from Hatake Kakashi?” Iruka gave a quick nod and the medic continued. “Fourth floor, room 412.”

“Arigato.” Iruka responded already making a bee line for the stairs and beginning to take them two at a time.

Iruka remembered his manners despite his haste and concern for Kakashi and knocked on the door of room 412 while he tried to compose himself. The door was quickly opened by what turned out to be the Hokage herself.

“Oh good you’re here.” Tsunade greeted Iruka as he entered the hospital room. A quick look around showed the chunnin that besides himself and the Hokage the only other person in the room was Kakashi. The jounin was sitting propped up in bed, hitai-ate over one eye and face masked in his usual manner.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Iruka spoke. “Thank kami, your not that bad. I didn’t know what to think. The way Shizune said you had sent for me Hokage-sama, I wasn’t sure what to expect.” Iruka finished by turning his gaze on to the busty woman.

“The brat’s injuries aren’t that bad but his stupidity might turn out to be terminal.” Ground out one of the worlds most renowned medical ninjas. Tsunade punctuated her statement by folding her arms under her ample bust.

“Maa, Maa. Don’t make it sound like that Hokage-sama.” Kakashi squinted his one good eye in embarrassment as he replied and reached up to rub the back of his silver haired head. This was when Iruka noticed that both of the jounin’s hands were very thickly bandaged.

“Oh, now I see why I have to fill out you mission report for you.” Iruka said with sympathy as he moved around to the chair beside the bed and sat down preparing to fill out the mission report. “So that B ranked mission you scooped up out of boredom yesterday went up in grade did it?” At Iruka’s inquiry Kakashi stared down at his blanket covered legs and Tsunade began to smirk.

“Ano…”Muttered Kakashi still staring downward.

Tsunade snorted.” What the illustrious Copy Nin is trying to say is that he did not sustain his injuries on his mission. As a matter of fact Kakashi completed the mission he had taken from you by this morning but instead of going to the mission office to drop off the paperwork he put it off. Then he took one of Maito Gai’s challenges and things obviously spiraled out of control. Here is what remains of the original mission paperwork.” Tsunade handed a chard scrap of paper to Iruka. “I’ll let you extract the rest of the story along with the mission report from Kakashi-kun yourself, Sensei.” Tsunade moved to the door. Just before she left the room she added one last comment. “Iruka-sensei, I give you permission to use what ever methods you need to to get the whole story out of your friend there. I’m still trying to figure out how a case of toilet paper and two dozen roses were involved in second degree burns.”

Iruka sat blinking at the door before he finally turned to Kakashi. “Do I want to know?”

“Ano, Iruka –sensei, I’ll pay for all our shared lunches for a month if you promise never to ask me about this.” The jounin offered hopefully.

“Make it two months and consider yourself lucky that I don’t torture my friends, only my students.” Countered the chunin. “And how long will it be until you can use your hands again?”

“Only a few days, how about taking a long weekend so that you can spend it with me so that I don’t have to spend it in the hospital?” Kakashi made the request sound casual.

Iruka had started filling out the mission report. ”Sure, do you think Tsunade will let you out early?”

“If you agree to keep an eye on me I bet she will.” Kakashi laid back on the bed and snuck a sideways look at the chunin hunched over his clipboard. “Arigato gozaimasu Iruka-sensei I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”

Iruka blushed and hunched closer to his clipboard. “Doo itashimashite Kakashi-san. I’m sure you would do the same for me. Matte…your going to need help eating and getting dressed aren’t you?”

“Hai, Hai. That isn’t a problem is it sensei?” Kakashi maintained his casual voice.

“No, of course not. That isn’t too much to do for a friend Kakashi-san.” Iruka continued filling out the form oblivious to the wicked grin under the jounin’s mask.

‘I’ll have to remember to tell my friend what else I’ll need help with after he checks me out of the hospital.’ Hatake Kakashi gloated in his head.

owari

UNUNUNUN

AN: The song that was stuck in Iruka’s head was :

James Taylor’s You’ve Got a Friend

When you’re down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
Ill come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend.

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
Ill come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, aint it good to know that you’ve got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They’ll hurt you and desert you.
Well they’ll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don’t you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
Ill come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don’t you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you’ve got to do is call.
Lord, Ill be there, yes I will.
You’ve got a friend.
You’ve got a friend.
Aint it good to know you’ve got a friend.
Aint it good to know you’ve got a friend.
You’ve got a friend.